Hearing God’s Validation

I am an experienced loader of moving trucks. When I helped a friend move yesterday, she put me in charge of directing the loading. Much doubt was expressed about whether or not everything would fit into the truck for a single trip. With some masterful Tetris, another friend and I found a place for everything. (Ross, you’re a beast.) As I loaded the last piece of furniture, everyone sang my praises and expressed admiration for my knack for organization and efficiency. We all need affirmation. Men in particular tend to need to be admired and feel competent. And “words of affirmation” is my top love language. Needless to say, all that praise felt good.

I used to brush off compliments, but I allowed myself to enjoy them that day. As I basked momentarily in their affirmation of my competence, I also sensed my heart seizing it and dragging me toward sinful pride. I was tempted to let it become about me, about my glory, about making Brian’s name great.

I brought that to the Lord and asked Him how to allow myself the pleasure of success and admiration but refuse to allow it to puff up my ego in an unhealthy way. He brought to mind something Karen, my supervisor, said in a Wellspring Group meeting Friday. She pointed out that we must distinguish between the channel and the source. I’ll illustrate what she meant.

I need and deeply desire validation. In truth, every human does. God created us with a deep desire to hear the voice of our Father saying, “This is my son/daughter, whom I love, with whom I am well pleased.” God is the only possible source of the validation that can satisfy that desire, but He often uses the affirmations of other people as channels through which He expresses His validation to us.

Validation is about the giving of identity, and only our Creator and Savior is capable of giving us identity. Other people can affirm what they see in us, but it is what God says about us that validates who we are. A major problem arises when we begin to look to the channels of God’s validation as sources. If I become desperate for people to affirm me, I lose sight of the only One who can validate me.

Am I a competent man? Yes. Why? Is it because I succeeded in packing a truck full of boxes and furniture and earned the praise and admiration of a few friends? No. I am competent, not because I was successful in that endeavor, but because God has equipped me with the gifts and skills—and most importantly His presence, by the Holy Spirit—to fulfill my purpose. I have been given an indestructible competence that does not depend on momentary success. I know this because my Father tells me that I am His beloved son, in whom He is well pleased. He just happens to use my friends and family to express His validation at times.

Consider this concept yourself. Do you find yourself dependent on a continuous flow of affirmation or crushed by negative feedback or insults? Reflect on the following:

·         In what ways do you depend on others to inform your identity?

·         What does your Father say about you? (Consider John 1:12-13)

·         In light of that, what gives other people the power to affect your identity?

If you have experienced the beauty of John 1:12-13, hear your Father’s validation today, “This is my son/daughter, whom I love, with whom I am well pleased.”